The Transgendered Mindset .. By Barbra Lynn
A Thesis of general understanding of the Transgendered mind based in scientific study and my personal experience and the related experience of many others, This is by no means a total authoritative nor am I a expert on the subject, But it will try explain the general mindset and width of variation from Crossdressing to Transexualism .. This article is derived from my own insights and personal study on the subject .. I suggest reading as may articles as you can on the subject and seeking sound counseling before making any major changes in your life .. Note: run like hell from any councilor who tells you your crazy or you can be cured..
Note to Significant Others """ PLEASE READ THIS """
This text is generally centered on the class 3 to class 6 Transgendered mostly because I am relating life from my own experience as one who falls between class three and four on the scale, This dose not mean your loved one be it child or significant other is in this category but what you do have to understand there is a girl living inside him, And she has been sealed away in a closet and she needs to express herself ..
It is genetic by nature produced by some portion of the brain developing as a female rather than male and as such you should give him all the love and compassion you would if you were told he had any other genetically manifested disability, Although I prefer to call it an enhancement ..
It manifests as a unique mixture of male and female psychological traits and to date I know of no Transgendered who has ever been cured, Although some have been shamed back into the closet .. Did this just happen yesterday?? If you ask he will tell you he knew sense he was 5 to 8 years old .. Why now?? The stress of suppressing it compounds over the years and will seek to be expressed or result in severe depression and sometimes suicidal tendencies and a breaking point is reached .. Is he really a girl?? No It varies with each person, On the basis of what percentage and or area of the brain developed female rather than male that's why the range of outcomes are so varied .. Will he stop if I make him promise to ?? No, The reason he came out to you is because he already overdid his stay in a self imposed prison, All you will do is force him to do it behind you back, He can no more go back into that mental prison than you could spend the rest of your life impersonating a man.
So you just found out your loved one for the last 10 years likes to sport a dress and express his feminine side, Dose that make him a instant transsexual?? No, Class one through three Transgendered rarely seek a sex change """ Please read the BENJAMIN SCALE or the WATSON TABLE for a more precise description """ .. Is he going to start dating men?? No, Sexual attraction remains the same weather the fem. side is expressed or not, The main manifestation is the girl inside would like to see a girl in the mirror and be allowed to express her full personality once in a while and escape the personality constraints put on men ..
What you have to understand transgenderism is not a great problem for women as men nowadays a female dressed as a male can walk the world and little is said, Also a woman can also express a wide range of personality from feminine to tomboy and little is said .. Men are pretty much still stuck in a predefined box of what society will accept and are generally forcibly molded into that box by society in general .. This is a mentally unhealthy situation for a male with a feminine side.
Transgender is a global term covering the broad range of mindset in gender dysphoric men and women although this text is written from a Male to Female perspective much of the same feelings in reverse are felt by the Female to Male TG .. Overall no two Transgendered people are the same it can range from simple fetish of female clothing to a innate hatred of one's own male body coupled with a almost life and death struggle to become as totally female as medical science can achieve..
The psychiatric community breaks it down into 6 categories in the BENJAMIN SCALE and 5 categories in the WATSON TABLE, but in reality there are 256 shades of gray between each numeric level and most TG's consider categorical classification a bit contemptible, But never the less it was a attempt to help psychologist find the proper psychiatric counseling path for a given state of gender dysphoria.
Nature or Nurture
In reality it is a
combination of both, But more based in nature according to the latest scientific study by
two Italian scientist
The study has shown that most all gender related disorders are caused by a pair of genes one on the X and another on the Y chromosome, They state these genes are so powerful they can cause total gender reversal meaning a XX which would normally be born female having a 100% male body GENDER GENES . It has also been found that certain drugs or hormones given during pregnancy can cause many of the same gender disorders although many of these have been discovered and are no longer given during pregnancy, But some older TG's and Intersexed may be the result of these administrations ..
Basically all humans are some mix of male and female personality traits, But this goes far beyond that.. Sexuality is programmed into the brain genetically, It is completely primal, When a person goes through puberty you don't sit there and think about which gender your going to decide to be attracted to it was programmed into your brain by the X or Y gene, Its purpose being procreation and survival of the species ..
Body Image is also programmed but in a different area of the brain, That is the gender you want to see when you look in the mirror and if all goes right you end up happy with the body your born with, But in 1 to 2% of the population this area gets programmed wrong creating a very unhappy person in total discord with their body, This discord can be from mild discontent to major life threatening depression, It also seems to get more profound with age as one continues to suppress the feelings .. The third programmed area gender expression or personality and is basically controlled by which hemisphere of the brain becomes dominant left for male and right for female, But here again we have a situation where both hemispheres may develop and different areas having full or partial dominance creating a mixed personality or the total opposite personality expression for the body gender.
These are the three major traits defining gender, They are not all or nothing switches, A persons brain development can assume any point between the two extremes creating a wide range of gender anomalies
Gender Image: When I look in the mirror .. I prefer to see a ......... Girl ... Androgyny ... Boy
Gender Preference: When I Look in My bed ..... I prefer to be with a .. Girl ......... Both ........ Boy
Gender Expression: The personality.................... I prefer to express .... Female ... Mixed ...... Male
Nurture comes in by how the person is raised and what society will tolerate, In the sense of weather a free expression of the persons inner self is allowed or metaphorically a square peg is forced into the round hole, Essentially forcing the person to lock away some portion of their personality and sexual feelings in a closet leading to psychological damage which compounds through their life time .. One cannot lock away half their being in a closet for a life time feeling fear and guilt without it manifesting in depression and self destructive tendencies .. and eventually you hit the breaking point .. The suppressed personality seeks to be expressed and all the antidepressants on gods green earth will not stop it..
Intersexed and Transgender
The brain is a sex organ to .. One in every 1000 people are Intersexed, They are born with the sex organs of both Genders, They are under the classification Intersexed and fall in a sub category of True Hermaphrodite (having both testes and ovaries) or Pseudo Hermaphrodite (having testes or ovaries but ambiguous genitalia)
Generally doctors in the past have operated at birth to correct these gender blurred infants and many times without informing the parents, In other cases the parents feel so embarrassed or guilty over it, The child is never told and only figures it out when he discovers it did not take 200 stitches to get circumcised .. The problem was they only had a 50% chance of choosing the correct gender, What has now been learned and often over looked the brain is a sex organ to, And there are major differences between the structure of a male and female brain .. The same genetic confusion that caused both genders to be expressed in the body are also expressed in the development of the brain, The brain may take on a male or female structure or some mixed development of both genders ..
What is overlooked is the gender gene may only affect the brain and not be expressed in body development, These people in my opinion are just as Intersexed as one born with genitalia of both sexes. These people are the ones we call Transgendered and may manifest itself as simple occasional Crossdressing to total Transsexuality
You just hit your breaking point .. In your mind as long as you can remember lived a cute little 16 year old girl, Who has suffered unimaginably .. Every day she is forced into submission by society fear guilt and life situation .. She also sees her chance to live in the sunlight fading day by day and the body she's trapped in getting older and she realizes that all the female hormone's on earth will not let her be a 16 year old girl .. and in total terror she fights her way out of the closet knowing that time is short she can't be 16 but she can be a girl at least before she gets to old to be pretty and experience some of life's feminine pleasures ..
She may risk everything the house the wife the job and friends but the alternative is far worse to her, She hopes and prays for acceptance .. She may be happy just to live a few hours a week or to live with one foot planted in each world and she might go all the way and change the body she is in to be a total woman, but she will come to a balance and what that balance is will be determined by what it takes to make her happy, At first she will go through many fazes of searching her soul and consider extremes .. but eventually a balance will be found somewhere in those 256 shades of gray between one of the six Quote Psychological categories of transgenderism ..
What will happen now
When the girl finally gets out she will more than likely go through extremes .. For one she has no idea what its like to live as a girl and is making judgments based on fantasies stored up over her years in incarceration .. Very little is based in reality for she has never got to live in the real world and this is where I put a warning ... Do not do anything that is not reversible to you body till you experience some amount of time in the sunlight as a female .. And you discover the balance in feminine expression that will make the girl inside happy .. You may find that just occasional Crossdressing may be sufficient or you may want to seek androgyny and live with one foot in each world or it could come down to total transsexual transformation .. But you have to figure what that balance point will be before you do anything drastic .. and also the girl inside may be willing to make tradeoffs to save the marriage or job ..
But when she first gets out she is a mere child experiencing the world anew, She's not sure yet what will make her happy .. And truly I know what is going through your mind ..You have already waited to long, The cute years are disappearing fast, Why didn't I do this years ago .. But you can't let those feelings lead you to mistakes, Her over enthusiasm may lead you to do things to fast or in the wrong order and in some cases proceed to far down the TG path which could lead to disaster or at least cause you much greater difficulty than is necessary, Give her some time to grow first
A Few Statistics
In general about 80% or more Male to Female Transgendered still prefer women as their sex partner, The balance may be bisexual or prefer to be with men and also quite a few prefer masturbation to a fantasy or have little to no sexual desire at all and just develop lifelong friendships
Will my sexual interests change ?? Generally not, Your preference in sex partner is programmed at birth although a Bi person may sway his mate of choice from female to male a hetero based person will rarely change preference .. Lets say we have a ruler and at one end is preference for Female's and at the other end preference for a male partner and the 6 inch point is Bi you may expect to move One to Two inches either way on the scale and in general this only occurs because you may feel less inhibited as a female and discard all your homophobia and childhood programming .. Which generally means the desire was always there but just suppressed .. Note: This is not a hard fast rule just a generalization and some do discover a attraction for the now opposite sex where there was none before.
Another thing you may experience is enjoyment being doted over by males but without sexual desire .. This is basically a psychological fulfillment of being treated as a woman and enhancing your need to feel totally female, What you have to understand is your brain is in general neither male or female but a delightfully homogenized mixture of both and will seek sexual and psychological fulfillment in different areas .. Also if you go on hormones they tend to heighten the response of the female areas of the brain .. And if you don't believe that just ask any TS about the crying spells that occur after starting hormones .. Your emotions are amplified drastically and I would suggest to any one starting hormones to start antidepressants at the same time, It is allot easier to deal with amplified happy feelings than sad or depressed ones.
NEVER FEEL GUILTY .. Be at peace with who and what you are .. You should feel no guilt, It's in your genes .. As I see it, that's the way god made me, and there's no way I'm going to feel guilty over an act of god .. He probable had a good reason for creating me this way I may never know what he truly had in mind But I'm quite sure he didn't intend for me to spend my life in misery hiding my true personality in a closet .. You are a truly unique person and rarer than a four leaf clover and their supposed to bring good luck but no one will find their lucky charm if you keep hiding your fourth leaf ..
I will tell you from my own experience I lived on antidepressants and contemplated pulling my own plug many times and was a very unhappy person and this was in a period of my life when I made good money and everything else was going great .. I could not get the nerve to come out of the preverbal closet and just past age 40 hit the breaking point .. Overall my life got turned completely upside down, But I shed the guilt and let the girl walk in the sunshine and even in the midst of all the other turmoil in my life, I am happy I laugh I smile and have no need of antidepressants .. granted It's not a cake walk but I am a complete person free to express my total being and I will tell you it took a year or two to find my balance point but once achieved life becomes full and exciting again.
Is it Sin?? Do TG's go to heaven??
If you are born with both genders either body or mind or both, Who is to say which is the sin being male or female and no matter what the old testament says all sin is forgiven by God through our Lord Jesus Christ .. Our sins are washed clean by his blood .. By his stripes we are healed .. And he was pierced for our inequities .. He is your savior not you persecutor .. If you love thy neighbor as thy self and love the Lord thy God then you have fulfilled Christ commandment .. And anyone who persecutes you on this earth must have missed the passage ""judge not others lest ye be judged by your own rules"" !! Christ is your rightful judge not your next door neighbor.
A Note to young CD's and TG's
I am here to tell you emphatically ,,, It will not go away ,, There is no cure ,, and getting married only makes it worse because your around all your wife's feminine things ,, and the older you get the more intense the feelings get ..
Here are the benefits of coming out early ... One: you loose a few friends now but you have a lifetime to make new ones ... Two: the male hormone's have not produced a totally masculine body yet and if you are a TS you have a greater chance of becoming a more feminine lady plus estrogen is less effective in transforming you as you grow older although the affects are fairly good well up to 40+ years of age .. Three: the earlier you accept who and what you are the less psychological damage you incur from suppressing part of your personality ... Four: once you get married find a good job and become financially burdened you become trapped by a cage of your own making and it becomes almost impossible to escape, And mark my words sooner or later you will hit your breaking point and your house of cards will come tumbling down around you,
It is better to walk your true path and build your life around your total self for it will sit on a solid foundation .. If you live a lie it will only bring you misery, and half a person will never find happiness .. I'm not saying scream it from the rooftops but do seek groups and others like you 2 people out of every 100 have the same feminine feelings and 1 out of every 1000 is actually born Intersexed .. We have the web now to help find each other and lend support .. Make use of it.